FLASH -- MSNBC SAYS ARAFAT DEAD -- No, really, he's gone now.

Arafat is dead. How many times have we heard that this week? I have taken a very Old Testament view of this passing. It would be poetic justice to learn that he really had been pronounced dead all those times we heard of his demise, then they bring him back again and again and again. For each person he has snuffed out.

Can you see his wife by his bedside? Apparently no one knew the Swiss bank account codes where he had smuggled away BILLIONS of dollars. And Mrs. Yasser has quite expensive tastes, I'm told. For 1.5 million a month in allowance, one could say that she likes her champagne cold and caviar plentiful. So I have this vision of Mrs. Yasser sittin' by her ailing husband's bedside in France...

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSER! YASSER! WAKE UUUUUUUUUUUP. I NEED THE DAMN NUMBERS, YASSER!!!!!!! NO, WHAT DO YOU MEAN TURN OFF THE MACHINES? ARE YOU NUTS? I NEED THOSE NUMBERS -- GOT MY EYE ON A NEW BENZ AND THE 18 CARAT GOLD SINK IN MY BATHROOM SIMPLY WILL NOT DO. IT MUST BE DIPPED IN 24 CARAT. I'M SLUMMING IT AS IT IS! YASSER! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSER!!!! OH YES, I'M TALKING TO YOU MISTER......"

Phew. Did you feel that hot breeze on your face? The gates of hell swung open to welcome him.