Are your children out of control? Is your love life a mess?

This is not my usual post by a long shot. But lately, I have friends who either have children who are completely out of control or are doing remarkably dumb things in their love lives and wonder why it isn't working out so well for them.

I think we have the feminist movement to thank for invading even conservative women's psyche and convinced them that their children should never have boundaries, should never be told "no" and whatever is most convenient for the parent rules the day.

Pretty similar on the man front as well. Strong, capable, conservative women seem to be moving into their significant other's households without a ring and a date, making every mistake known to mankind and then wondering why they aren't married or happy.

Is this a new epidemic or something that has been going on for a while and it just was never discussed before? Whatever the case, it is utterly bizarre what seems to be happening out there.

Example: Went to a birthday party the other day with older son. Birthday boy gets a present that he already has. Typical of the age (five years old), he says the first thing that comes to his mind which is "I already have that toy."

Now, what do you thing the parents should have done there? Maybe, told the child to be thankful for the present and thank the guest and say not another word about it? Nope, they looked expectantly at the parents of the child who gave the gift. They immediately ran over and said, "Of course we will get you something else.....now what would you like to have"....in a sea of apologies.

The birthday boy looked and acted like he owned the place as he proceeded to run the household, talk back to his mother, use unkind words and not ONCE say "thank you" or show in any way a grateful heart.

Another example: Several mothers were talking at my son's pre-school about how their children do not stay in bed once put in bed for the night. They talked about how little Johnny just didn't like his sheets or little Suzie had to be cuddled until she went to sleep or how little Bobby would find every excuse in the world to get out of bed and end up sleeping every night in the parents bed.

Are the children running those households? Have they ever been given boundaries or instead a series of choices?

Another example: One conservative mother I know who is remarkably accomplished, intelligent, well-schooled, has two children. She has spent most of her time on her career, and as a single mother, I understand the need for that. But what time she does spend with her children seems to be assuaging her guilt for not spending more time with them. Heaven help my children if they ever talked to me they way her children disrespect her. She lets bedtimes slide and has to plead with her children to obey in the smallest way. Everything is a debate and they usually win.

The kicker to this is that she has moved in with a man without a ring and a date. Now, I know that cohabitation is common and considered quite normal. Yep, that sexual revolution has done an awful lot for men who have commitment issues and healthy libidos, but not a lot for the women who go through the pain of wondering if their lives have any sort of security whatsoever? And what does this cohabitation say to the children? Once again, it validates disrespect of the mother.

My heart truly breaks for those that have problems with their children or problems in their personal relationships -- and while that is not the normal subject of what I write about, I would like to reach out to those who do have questions about these areas of concern.

There are ways to have a loving, harmonious household no matter what the situation might currently be. There are ways to find and marry the true love of your life, or repair a marriage.

What is not acceptable is raising children to be anything BUT productive, responsible citizens and by the looks of things, the cell phone, IPod, give-them-whatever-they-want (except time) thing isn't working out. The little girls wandering around constantly text messaging boys, half dressed and on their way to being worn out, not married and with no education or hope for a future because of the wrong priorities......the little boys who are continually called by these little girls and then get called every name in the book if they don't take advantage of these young girls.....this generation suffering the consequences of absentee parents or parents who just haven't a clue about boundaries.... And for the women who think that equality is through a bedroom door or found by moving in with their significant other thinking that they will not suffer consequences, think again. The one consequence that most likely will not be enjoyed is a healthy marriage.

So. Let's talk about this. Either email through this site or respond and let's see if the problem can't be solved. It is critical that the next generation not continue and expand upon the bad habits that seem to be taking root right now.

Yes, I will get back to issues momentarily. But this has been weighing on my heart lately, so I thought I'd throw a line out and see what happens.