What is truly, truly important....

I didn't know Tim Russert. But from what I have heard not only today but in years past, he was a truly decent man. His love of family as a son, father and husband was well known. This is punctuated by the fact that despite a pretty extraordinary career decorated colorfully by anecdotes that almost any publisher would crawl on bended knee to purchase.....he chose to write about fatherhood in not one, but both of the books he wrote during his short life.

My heart and prayers go out, of course, to Maureen, his wife and Luke, his son, as well as his father, "Big Russ", the subject of Russert's first book.

Father's Day is never the same for those of us who have lost their father, but I am hopeful that once the initial pain and grief subside, Luke Russert can turn this tragedy, just two days before Father's Day, into something remarkable that celebrates the irreplaceable role of fathers. Clearly, Tim Russert's love for his father and of being a father was at the central core of his being and when my father passed, I wanted to find something, somehow that could possibly celebrate who my extraordinary father was. I'm still workin' on it, by the way.

It is an unfortunate reality that death has not been a stranger in my world since I can remember. Faith keeps me from fearing my own demise, but when someone so incredibly full of life leaves it far too soon -- like Tim Russert -- it seems to be a taunting reminder of a far more ominous ticking clock than the one attached to procreation.

I knew from a very early age that my parents were different since they were older than almost any of my friends' parents. But for all the benefits of having older parents, I lived in absolute sheer terror of losing them. Losing grandparents started before I reached double digits in age. My mother started her slow demise from Alzheimers not long after my college graduation and my father only enjoyed an all too brief year as a grandfather.

Seeing the trend grow to have children later, I have read much about fertility issues and pregnancy issues......but not a great deal about what it will take to raise a child to be strong, resilient, capable, independent and truly responsible, financially and otherwise -- able to rise above the truly pathetic concerns that seem to preoccupy some of the younger generation today to handle issues associated with the passing of one's parents which was once reserved for folks in their forties, fifties and sixties.

There is even a financial angle to all of this. Imagine being just out of college, starting on your career and then suddenly having to deal with the health care issues and costs of your older parents. Now don't worry, I'm not even going down the liberal Obamaville path to socialized medicine, but having been through it, I have some serious concerns about the state of nursing home care. It took months for us to find even the least objectionable facility for my mother's nursing care and it cost a fortune.

For those who don't have my father's once legendary financial sense and Depression-era ability to hold onto (or stretch) a dollar, I truly do not know how anyone, much less a recent college graduate saddled with college loans would be able to manage that financial obligation. Those were the Top Ramen days for me.

Lest you think I am begging people not to have children after "a certain age", nothing could be further from the truth. Like my mother before me, I had my daughter at age 40. This little girl joins her two older brothers and they are the light of my life. But so aware am I of the reality of the situation that I took the last year and a half off to be with the children. It may have put my career, political involvement and bank account on hold, but time seems to be speeding up, not slowing down, with age.

I truly loved my career. But that isn't life. I grew up in the shadow of the Hollywood sign and although many comparisons between Washington and Hollywood are made, one clear, stark difference is apparent. In Hollywood, your success is measured by how little time you spend in the office and in DC, your success is measured by how many hours you spent doing blah blah blah for so and so and ooops, there goes the Blackberry buzz every 3 seconds to punctuate just how important you are.

For everything Tim Russert did and the amazing folks he met and the remarkable interviews he conducted....I would bet he was his happiest in Italy this past month celebrating his son's graduation from college and wouldn't trade it to exclusively interview anyone in Washington on live television while they are hooked up to a lie detector gizmo.

The comparison is probably unfair, though. Tim Russert died tragically young at 58. He should have had far more years on this Earth and there will be events from now on for the Russert family that will bring the loss into sharp relief. I would have given anything to have my mother there when I tried on my wedding dress, much less at my wedding. And I would have loved to have seen my former quarterback father teach his two grandsons how to throw a perfect spiral, or look into the deep brown eyes of his granddaughter (a mirror reflection of his own brown eyes) to see that the title of "Princess" had been relinquished to the next generation.

But I digress. A loss is a loss no matter the circumstance. I am still prayerfully hopeful, though, that those who do take on parenting at an older age recognize the special circumstances of the situation and take care not to let the things of the world interfere with what is truly, truly far more important.

In the meantime, I am truly hopeful that this Father's Day, you will not see it as merely another family obligation but a privilege -- a time to thank your father, stepfather, grandfather, godfather, etc. Hug your dad a little tighter this year. Give your father the gift of your time and attention -- maybe some awesome experience that will create a cherished memory. There are a lot of us out here who can tell you that no matter how many years pass since losing a father, we'd give just about anything for the chance for just one more phone call, much less an entire Father's Day!

So God bless all of you who are fathers out there and who do your job with patience, understanding and unfailing love but little thanks for the efforts. You truly are appreciated more than you know!